Get Your Pitch On: The Last Knight






Name: N.S Dorrington
Email: nicola_dorrington@hotmail.com        
Country of Residence: Cayman Islands
Title: THE LAST KNIGHT
Genre: YA Contemporary Fantasy
Word-count: 79,000
Pitch: Cara Page has seen the future for five years. To her it’s normal. What isn’t normal is discovering she’s the heir to King Arthur. The barriers are crumbling between her world and Avalon, the world of the Fair Folk and Cara is the only one who can stop the destruction that will soon follow. The only way she can succeed is with the help of Lance Filwer, the last knight.



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6 comments:

Emilyann Girdner said...

Hi N.S.

I think this premise is very interesting! I am wondering if maybe you should include it in the aurthurian genre? I don't personally write in the genre so I'm not sure.
The contemporary heir of aurthor is a fun idea, an you did a good job conveying what is at stake for the character.
One other thing I would recommend is repition of the same words, for example "world" is used twice very clise together.

Good luck N.S. =)

Emilyann Girdner said...

*sorry, I meant avoid repeating words.

N.S.Dorrington said...

Ah, thanks so much for the feedback! I hadn't even noticed the doubling up of 'world' I'll have to try and change it to land or something else!
One thing I would ask commenters - Lance is the romantic interest - should I make this clearer in the pitch, or is it not really necessary?

VikLit said...

Hi - I think this premise is really interesting, good luck with it! I have to say with Lance being her only help I had assumed that he was going to be important, I'm not sure I specifically need to know he is a love interest (unless this is part of the conflict - is he in Arthurian times and she'll cut herself off from him for eg). If he's a boy at school and she discovers he is descended, that sounds a lot of fun ;) Good luck!

whyawrite said...

Well, I'm biased because I'm also writing a Contemporary Arthurian story in which the "barrier between our world and Avalon/myth" is breached, so I automatically like this one and hope you go on to great things.
As for the actual pitch, I have a few suggestions: 1) Can you explain why she is precognitive? Does that have anything to do with her being Arthur's heir? 2) Is "the world of the Fair Folk" supposed to be "Fairy Folk"? Also, should there be a comma after "Folk" so that it is an explanation of what Avalon is? 3) I don't think the last line has the punch it needs. You need to end with a "Oh, I have to read more!" and since we don't know who Lance is (though I'm guessing I he's connected to a certain "ladies man"), I don't think this is quite the hook the ending needs.
Best of luck! Maybe we can get famous together, to book tours, . . . yeah. I'm a dreamer.

N.S.Dorrington said...

I don't really have the space in the pitch limit to explain why she sees the future, but yes it's because she's the heir to Arthur.
No, it's not supposed to be fairy folk, it's supposed to be fair folk, which is the name used in the Arthurian legends to describe the people of Avalon.
You might be right about needing more of a hook though.
Are you entering the pitch competition as well, cos i'd love to take a look at your pitch.